Out of touch

Its been a while since I visited my passion and my destiny to become a writer. This may be something that I’ve written in a few weeks, and I feel ashamed by it. Some of the concepts that I’ve picked up from the training courses seem to be out of my touch and the principles that I picked up are forgotten. But I will still try my best to come up with words that form meaning and hopefully meaningful to someone who reads it.

I still vividly remember the idealogy that dawned on me when I had those mushrooms, it was so much more clear. The colors and the smells were so apparent. It was a High definition movie. I can remember the calling, that I will be the one writing the story of the earth and we are just common earthlings but I have a bigger duty to fulfil. It is something much bigger than me and it will serve for generations to come. Am I to write the Mahabharata of the new times? Was the Mahabharata borrowed from the texts of ancient Egypt like the way Zeitgeist had identified? Do i have the duty to write and pass on the story to generations? I’m not too sure that I still believe or whether I am doing what is needed to strengthen my roots of achieving the dream that I dreamt. I have always written for myself and for my own clarity, it is my place of solace from the chaotic world that I live in, in the meta physical form. But will I ever be able to conjure up a narrative? a story that I want to tell? What is the story that I want to tell? The story of the country where I live and the fallacies that exist. I am not too sure till when these fallacies will exist but what I do know is that what I believe in, the internal conflict that exists in my mind, will only dissolve when what I am saying in the book will come alive.

Coming back to me, why I dont want to blog is because I don’t want to become a popular face. I want to remain in the shadow, leering,urking. I don’t believe that success needs an audience. Heck, I never used to know that I believed it but I did identify that I had friction with recognition for good deeds. I don’t want the limelight. I want to succeed when there is no audience.

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