Lessons from pi meetings

I can feel it that im crumbling under pressure. You have to get out of your head and just do the god damn thing. Isnt that what happened in bombay in dma. It no longer was fun and engaging, it became monotonous and efficient. I just had to get out of my head and take the pleasures in sweet things, small things. I just had to communicate and throw them. There is no quality control, its a job and pleasure can be derived from other things in life, such as drinking and friends and writing and relationship with my wife and sex is also now generalized. It’s a slavery job, where my job is to escalate and make a ruckus. Seriously, its a tad bit about the business, but where the time to do it. I must start creating my options now because this isn’t going to be lifelong. My ideas are shot down.

Also, wherever I see nowadays of successful people, there is a bit of madness in them that makes them borderline delusional. Is that the secret recipe of success, delusional and uncharted? I seem to know the way to my success, but it seems to be a logical and virtue driven person isn’t what is needed in this world to succeed. You need a bit of madness and delusional thought. Samir Modi, Mayank Singhal, Udayan jiaji, Anjan, Jaya, they all are delusional and non-linear to a point where they have reached the epitome of their standards. They have lost the plot or have I?

Shouvik tries to shove me down in my ideas, so what should be my go-to-action. There’s only a limited time I have and ideas need to be generated, I just have to be more attentive of my surroundings and ideas need to be generated with conviction.

So now what, I should do my job and quiet down my feelings of fulfillment. Do I seek other ways of fulfilling my needs for fulfilling work? I think I should now start creating my options.

What I want to do

Mereko kahe ka bhi nahi choda hai inhone. Such wrong practices that the empire has been diminished. All the pressure that was once is no longer. I have to now accept that im either going to work like a log or I will live a mediocre life with happiness as my construct. I am going to miss out on all the opportunities that my peers are enjoying because they have put so much mental pressure on me. At the end of the day, I feel that i have to educate myself for everything. But educating yourself will mean that you’re doing it for fun, for yourself. So maybe it makes sense to educate myself and not eradicate my self. But these distractions are too much now, its eradicating my life while they enjoy doing what they are doing. They dont step up the mantle and do correct things. Floundering stuff and making sure that I live in a constant phase of FOMO. Do I want to take responsibility when I don’t know myself what I want to do.

I hate it when he says that its a terrible idea, he shoots me down everytime. Is it the fun of it.