This is insane. Im not at all excited to be doing this job anymore. How much more can i art direct and give counselling. Im getting really burned out. On top of that this Covid situation is not giving me any happiness. This is the most depressing time. I can’t step out of the house, I cant find time to work out in the house, i have to wash dishes, and seeing her demeanour, im honestly quite bored of it all. Whats the next exciting thing, i feel so lack of excitement and happiness. Its quite dull and non-exciting. That feeling of being lack of trust goes to say that there is a bad side to all this. This is just so borring! I have to explain so many things to them, nothing is quite exciting. Im not excited to continue this lifestyle, this way of living, this job, this life and most importantly this job. Its dulling me down and lacks vigour. What have I been doing all this time. Where is the community effort, its only dakkha marketing. What do I really want to do in all this. I really wanted to start on my book but honestly, there is no sense of inspiration anymore left in me. Im not only dulling down but burning out. Im burned out, there’s no sense of vigour and excitement left now. I wake up, do jobs, go to sleep and watch TV. Is there a silver lining to all that is there. Im not sure about it. I hope there is a silver lining.

You do remember the principles you have to endure in all this. Actually i havent set out any principles for here. Plus i havent set out any goals for this place. Its been 3 months now. Now is the time when people will start questioning your validity in bringing more leads. You were of that expectation, but then what happened. Was it the extreme explanation at all level Vaibhav? Yea, it was the extreme expectation and explanation. So normal advertising rules are not applying here at all.

In fact all the rules that I had, all are not working here at all. So let me

Rule #1 – Brand yourself as much as possible. Demure brand people are not going to reach anywhere. You have to become the Go-to-person

Rule #2 – Always have a plan in place in an excel sheet

Rule #3 – Safeguard yourself and curse the other people

Rule #4 – Always share a light joke with senior colleagues

Rule #5 – share your problems in the light-hearted manner

Rule #6 – Play your team members and juice them

Rule #7 – Keep yourself fit and fine and compete with everyone

You need to experiment and hold your ground

I come back home with a baggage of day’s events with shoutings and weird stunts trying to prove myself. But is this cycle about proving myself? This randomness is not making me productive rather than doing something ownable and good. He was right, there is a lot of politics and unnecessary shoutings. I don’t feel right doing this and I don’t even want to be involved. But how can I own this, in this way I don’t even feel like owning this. To be honest, this environment doesn’t even make me feel productive. But for some reason, I feel that I’m stuck. I haven’t even been paid for this. The last month has been ridiculous of me going to random places and doing something that has not even contributed to me knowing what is we’re selling. I may be making a whole lot of enemies here. It seems that I’m going to be making a lot of enemies here because visioning is not happening. This is no way of giving feedback, of constantly being pushy and giving viewpoints about the look & feel. I think there is not going to be some outcome from this. Is there going to be an outcome from this?

But why am i holding back on doing this?

Proving myself

And so it begins, the journey of man who went out yet again to sought his future and yet again faces discrimination with his own kin to not continue his path of construction but rather is advised to follow a path of restructure. Haven’t we know that the restructure path is full of adversities that have been faced since yonder childhood. It is a and knowing the path of emptiness in my soul and life does it make sense to follow the family mans route. Its still at this age i face criticism but how can i give up something that i built so i can reduce my self into the crevices of blue blood. Where in this journey have i gone wrong? Is it because i haven’t educated myself or listened to my inner voice. The mojo i thought i had it seems like I’ve lost it again. They’re not appreciative of my efforts only because i chose to come out of that realm of self loathe and the south delhi life. Just to consolidate the property. The ones who study, they view the world in black & white. The kind of person i met yesterday and the one who is withe right now, it’s so cryptic to be with them. How do i prove myself yet again. To my family and to my kin.

Its Kedar who hired me

Getting a bit of an understanding here as to why shes always putting me down, maybe its not her who was the one who decided to hire me, maybe it was him who hired me and pushed her into hiring me. The first one was – where did i work and kahan kaam karte ho, then the 2nd one was – he has to first ask his wife because hes newly married and all, but now when im thinking about it, its all adding up, its not her who wanted me to join in the first place, it was him who wanted me to join them. He wanted a Dilliwalla in the team. How can she just walk away like that after accusing me like that. I don’t know but its all adding up. Its something I never really realised it, she doesnt like me at all and thats because she has a bent towards Delhi people. But then why didnt she veto his decision, why was I called in the first place. Maybe she didnt want to lose him. I think its a place which she owns and im giving my time to their place. Like the way he said that he has been running in the old computer and I didnt really get the laptop and treatment that I wanted. Ive been seeing it all wrong and getting my head in the wrong place. Its actually him who has hired me and not her at all. Its the guy and she despises me, in fact she’s completely hating on me. Every reason she gets she tries to stomp me down so what am i going to do about it? What am i going to do about it vaibhav, tu usko bhau dega? Are you the person who is going to take it and go home without saying a word or retort back on whatever small comment that she makes. I really want to put her in her place but why am i not able to do it, its a way of playing the politics and you have a reputation to maintain that no one can just go and trample my feelings and personality like that. What is my reputation, I am making money and theres a reason why my form is not getting passed forward and confirmed because she doesnt want me to be there.

Okay, instead of being a mercenary, plan this as meticulously as you can, but in the longer run, shes going to make my life hell alongwith other people who she thinks that work for her but they dont work for her, they work for themselves.

Your job is the tradeoff

Ive just realised the truth about my workplace, it is the tradeoff in my journey in Pune. But there are some principles that i need to abide by, it is a staid policy, it is the unsaid rule. It is like DYWorks when it comes to work and serviceplan when it comes to play. So play it well. Enjoy this time that you have to yourself, enjoy the tradeoff and plan better and plan meticulously whatever it is. This is just going to be like Serviceplan but you will have to become better in your academics. Its like everything that you wanted for the past 2 years is being served to you on a platter and you;re feeling weird to taste it. You know it that you can make yourself faster and more productive but the motivation is not driving you to do it. The best principle is to do something before you’re even asked to do it. Whats the worst that can happen if you’re unprepared> get fired and back to Delhi. Wow, somehow the thing about all that is somehow feeling with much relief. It just hit you didnt it, that you were all this time searching the tradeoff, the job is the tradeoff, the only thing thats going to weed you off is that my personality is something that won’t let it go because its something that you enjoy doing, but now you must let it go and concentrate on your academics. Making money is not the forte here, and neither is yours but through academics and sport, i can start becoming the person that i wanted to be, the person that i visualized. The problem is that my opposing inspiration is at lack here among the poor and the poor taste. The beauty is deficient.

Do your homework

Havent you realised about yourself that your so unprepared to take the work that you’ve been doing. Can you put in the extea hours instead of just whiling away time and consolidate your presence in this field. You’ve just been galavanting and don’t really know what you’re supposed to do. Your opinion is really not mattering anymore. Where is your homework. Sonam and Shashank are going to be reaching you soon and telling you something but where is your homework. You havent been doing your homework and only focusing on your household work for too long now. Arent you done with it actually and want to proceed to take your career and work in the forefront